p is for pasta and potato and poot-poot! :)

yes! domdom came over my house yesterday. we went to cold storage first to buy the ingredients for our pasta. hmm, i kept taking lots of food and drinks like my iced tea, my milk tea, my soya milk, my oreo, my hugs and kisses and my sushi. haha! actually wanted to buy that 1.5 liter of pepsi ice but he said DON'T WANT! hmpf! bully me. haha! just kidding. then we bought (or rather I BOUGHT) lotsa crappy stuffs, and guess how much it all cost: ahh! $29. something something! ahh, so expensive! haha!

then we went home, blahblah. cooked the pasta, and it tasted really REALLY nice! of course it tasted delicious! you know why? 'COS I WAS THE ONE WHO STIRRED IT! I WAS THE ONE WHO STIRRED IT AND WITHOUT ME, WITHOUT THE ONE WHO STIRRED IT, IT WOULDN'T TASTE SO NICE! wahaha! but all the credit goes to him. haha! i don't even know what to do okay! i'm a mess in the kitchen so don't ever let me go in there. wahaha!

ahh, ate the pasta and it's really nice! yay! he's so so sweet! he cooked for me okay! only me! wahaha! it's a lot but uhm, i finished it all? haha! 'cos he said he doesn't wanna eat, and uhm, duh! it's pasta! i couldn't control okay! haha! but i gave him some okay! haha! and i also ate my darling potatoes. ahh! so nice! we were watching slam dunk too but I SWEAR i don't get the whole thing 'cos it's in chinese and i only understand a bit. haha!

then he played with my brother's gameboy, and then my brother kinda played with him so he played with my brother and then they played pokemon together. wahaha! so funny. they played for hours okay! and i sat down there, my eyes almost closing 'cos i think i'm bored and my eyes were tired. hehe.

then my sissy came, and we cooked another round of that pasta. haha, and my sister was so so happy 'cos it really tasted nice. haha, but she couldn't finish the whole thing 'cos it's too much. and i don't wanna eat the leftover 'cos i wasn't really feeling good. :(

hmm, so he went home at 1 plus.

ahh,
and you know what?
stomach ache!
ahh!
'cos i drank different kinds of drink yesterday!
ahh! help!!

cakes, wishes and SHOES!

wednesday
-26january2005
recess, we celebrated WEIJIAN and WENJIE's birthday! we celebrated it together 'cos it's very close, and wenjie's birthday is on a saturday.

they bought a cake for them the day before, and we gave him a pair of volleyball shoes yesterday too 'cos they had a match so it's better if he can use his magic pair of shoes. ;)

anyway, we had fun, and the cake is so cute 'cos it had spiderman, ultraman and doremon in it. the guys kinda fooled around with the cake, and they kinda messed around too. they chased wenjie and weijian around and tried putting some icing on their faces. wahaha! in the end, wenjie got a lil icing on his face and weijian has chocolate cake on his butt! wahaha! funny man! ;)

i also started my chinese b already. hmm, not so bad 'cos it's like, you can speak to the teacher in english. but not totally okay. you also have to try speaking in chinese.

went to meet my bro at heeren to buy some girl stuffs for some girl. hah! he bought a necklace, but he doesn't wanna listen to me okay! i told him to buy that cute pair of earrings but he doesn't want to! :( he said he doesn't like giving earrings to girls. weirdo.

happy birthday
weijian! :)

thursday
-27january2005
okay, don't laugh. 'cos i was caught combing my hair and looking at the mirror by MR. KWOK! he was looking through that hole at our window and i got shocked when i saw him 'cos i was combing my hair for a long time already! and i seriously don't know how long he's been standing there. the worst thing is, i got delphine's mirror and lili's comb confiscated! i felt more guilt 'cos that mirror+comb was given to her by her sis! ahh, plan to buy her a new one.

recess was so funny! while we were on our way to class, we saw augus sticking out his tongue because of the sweet he's eating. and then shirley went 'eee! er xing ahh!', in a joking manner. i don't know what the hell was in corrie's mind, but she said something like this: 'eee! i think he's lc-ing eh!.' and shirley was like, 'eee! so disgusting! why you all so disgusting today ar??'.. wahaha! i mean, it's soo damn funny okay!

and while we were climbing up the stairs, i was playing with the hotdog i bought. i kept shaking it and it's like, delphine and shirley looked so disgusted, but they were laughing anyway. hmm, and delphine was like, 'suck it! eat it! quick! suck it!'. wahaha! and i still kept shaking the thing, and shirley couldn't imagine how i'm gonna eat it. wahaha! the three of us were playing, and delphine was trying to pretend eating the hotdog 'cos i told her so. when she leaned to pretend eating, i wanted to say just kidding but i lifted up my hand too fast and hit her nose! or somewhere there laa. hmm, and shirley went 'eee! so oily! you still dare to eat meh?? eee!!'. wahaha! then of course i ate it laa! it's such a waste if i don't eat it. ;)

after school, lili doesn't wanna go see the boys' match, so we just went to mac and chilled there. ate our mc wings, and yea, hairi hung out with us too. we were talking and talking, and then eugenia and geraldine came. and we found out some of hairi's secrets! but shh! ;)

before both girls went off, i was kinda sick, and then i kinda made funny noises and kinda made some action with geraldine too. eee! it's kinda disgusting but it's quite funny too! haha! eugenia is our director by the way. wahaha!

then while talking, dennis' bro came over. his name is desmond. hehe, played with his hp and then hairi came back with a ball so we decided to play basketball at the cc. played for i don't-know-how-long then me and lili cabbed home. :)

friday
-28january2005
school ended fast! they went for their match. shirley and i pretended to give each other goodbye kisses, and it's so damn lame. haha! but we were both laughing away. haha! and we signed on the shoe box for wenjie! hehe, it's a basketball shoe! yay! he'll sure be glad when he gets it. :)

me and lili were left again 'cos we couldn't go. she's got np and i've got my cip. ahh, but before that we gave jane a surprise 'cos IT'S HER BIRTHDAY! yipee! i asked lili to go with huiyi jie if she wants since she has nothing to do. i had to entertain jane to make her think that nothing's happening. ;)

ahh, then we set up everything at the study corner, huiyi covered her eyes and the moment she saw the cake and everything, her eyes were filled with tears! TEARS OF JOY! yay! she was so so touched! and i felt really good ya know? haha! athiyah came too, and blahblahblah. we were given a slice of cake to eat, then yumyum. blahblahblah. cleaned up the mess and went to do cip work. :)

cip was soo soo tiring! we had to stand and walk around, sorting out canned foods, noodles, biscuits, expired stuffs and dented stuffs. those people who gave expired and dented stuffs ARE MEAN OLD PEOPLE! grr! box them!

when it ended, we sat at the round table to play truth or dare. i joined in later 'cos of the cip. xuezhi, clement, lili, geraldine eugenia and me. ;) and it was all so funny! haha! we said i love you to people and ni hen xing gan and you're so pretty and blahblahblah. lots more! haha! but too bad we had to leave at 6.30 'cos the school gate's gonna be locked. :(

-------------

hehe. suddenly woke up just now at around 4 something so just decided to blog about the happenings this week. yea, i think i'm gonna sleep again. my eyes are closing. zzz!

happy birthday
wenjie! :)

whoo-hoo! `lala lala!~

ahh! i didn't wanna go to school! i'm too lazy to go! i want to lie down on the bed forever! i mean, who doesn't want to enjoy this kind of lifestyle?

every lesson is so so boring except for maths 'cos i've got crystal. hmm, bio wasn't so boring 'cos we were kept busy with the play-doh. urm, art was okay too 'cos i kinda enjoyed it, except for the being too frustrated over small things so easily part and the it's so freaking hot in the art room part. chinese was SUPER boring! argh! i was just staring in space and it's like, everything he says just went in and out of my ear. ahh, totally!

and oh my gosh, i'm already kinda freaking out 'cos we have to pass up the first board on thursday and i have a STRONG feeling that i couldn't finish everything 'cos i'm still DAMN frustrated over my detailed drawing! ahh!

after school we had a test on bio. tried cheating but there wasn't time. teacher kept looking at us 'cos we are too FAMOUS in doing inside jobs. wahaha!

was supposed to go and watch b and c boys' match but i didn't go again 'cos of something something. ahh, so i went with lili again. ;)

we bought curry puffs! my idea, duh! actually i was craving for milk tea too but i'm too lazy to go to clementi and buy. hmm, anyway, i ate my puffs with delight, BUT! ahh! one isn't enough for me! but guess what, i didn't buy another one! yay! haha! too hot to walk under the sun and too lazy to walk back. ;)

went to the mrt station to top-up our ez-links, and when we were almost going aaron saw us, or lili saw aaron, or WHATEVER! haha! either way, we um. hmm, we kinda talked for a while, aaron called xue zhi 'cos he's also walking home but he's too fast. so in the end i went with aaron to take the mrt and lili was alone. :( sorry lili! :(

not having aaron in our class, i kinda missed aaron. :( hmm, i'm sure it's not only me. :(
we talked about craps and stuffs, and we were chatting all the way, NON-STOP, from buona vista to raffles. ahh, we had to stop chatting at raffles 'cos i gotta go already. :(

hmm, then blah blah blah?
urmm, that's all. i think?
-`grins!*

all over again.

i have been tortured by what i know, by what people tell me, by what i see everyday. but six months have passed, and the world spins onwards, just as it ever did. i get out of bed every morning, still playing the Normal Life Game.

he's dead, no more jokes, no more anything. he's really dead.
the laughter that surrounds the air is definately NOT for me. it's for them. it used to be OURS, but now it's not. i'm not part of it anymore.

but lemme tell you something. there is such thing as 'the art of unseeing, the art of unknowing.' and i think you people don't know what it means because i'm hurt all along.

ahh. just thought of it. i didn't go to school today. i had something on. i was babysitting someone. yeah right. BABYSITTING alright. and i was thinking of the exact same thing while i was BABYSITTING because i was BORED!
geez.

23january2004
happy birthday
delphine! :)

jailhouse rock!

monday
-17january2005
chatted wif mr lee after school in the np room. played awhile with his hp. corrie, delphine and shirley went to find us so we kinda played with his digicam too! ;)

we kinda hurried after the photo taking session 'cos crystal, lil miss impatient, (harhar), was waiting for us downstairs.
all of us went to big bookshop except for chermaine 'cos she went to bras basah with the guys to buy the art materials. we were stuck there at the colored paper side 'cos there were too many colrs and designs to choose from. hmm, then suddenly, gab popped out of nowhere.

ahh, then blahblahblah. lili did the same thing again. haha! but i didn't know until we were out of the shop.

we hung out at kfc, helped corrie write a lil bit. blahblahblah. lili wanted to go home so me, tricia and her went home together. they stayed there until 6 plus to do their work. :)

oh! and it was the first time i went home using public transport. ahh, i didn't wanna pamper myself too much. :)

tuesday
-18january2005
b boys had a match so they went to support them, while lili and me went to mac 'cos we were gonna meet jenkins. before he came, i discovered something! lao fu zi mini comic collection! yipee! i was so desperate to have 'em all! yay! hmm, so i bought 1-5 first, which cost me $10. ahh, i am so so happy! still am! ;)

jenny came with daniel, and they were kinda talkin crap, hmm. and i helped jenny write 'jurvis' in his hp. hehe, i did a better job than him! =P hmm, then dian helped him design his calculator, lili wrote on his hp and i wrote on his file. :) blahblahblah. cabbed home again. :(

wednesday
-19january2005
was supposed to meet jenny after school. but we ended up playing volleyball instead. lili went off earlier 'cos she was going out with her mummy.

we played, i played awhile. and i don't know why i suddenly felt so lazy to play. i stopped 'cos i hurt my thumb, then i sat. i sat, and the longer i sat, the less i wanna stand up. i felt so tired! i don't wanna go home. and then, my imagination went wild again. ahh, i wanted to play, but i was too lazy to stand up. then blahblahblah. one by one they all stopped, and we went home. think it was about 5.30pm-6pm. :)

thursday
-20january2005
yay! we all knew it's the last day of school for the week so we were feeling kinda happy, and we kinda slacked too. we had 3 periods of no art 'cos ms yeo was sick. the class was quiet, we did our work. well, some of us. i did some but most of the time, i just kinda, uh, slacked? hehe.

we wanted to skip maths remedial but, uh, we don't wanna have our names written on the discipline file. -grins*. was supposed to go for the match with them but lili doesn't wanna go so just went to accompany her. :)

lili and i half slacked and half worked. we played with xue zhi's phone, took some pictures, and then sent it to lili's phone. hmm, then i copied lili's chinese compo. well, sort of, not totally. :)
ahh, and i forgot to see mr sim after school. yay! i'm gonna take chinese b soon! yipee! ;)
cabbed home again. :(

friday
-21january2005
holiday! we went to kbox to celebrate delphine's birthday, hmm. but it's actually on the 23rd, and we kinda celebrated it earlier. there was a total of 11 peeps, and it was so fun inside. we sang, then chermaine kept laughing. was tricked by her twice. and! someone farted! (i think some people know who it is but i shan't say out who. :D) and it totally stinks! it smells like, ugh! ls! eww! we opened the door and it took minutes before the smell went gone!

oh yeah, that time when me and trish went back from the toilet, we saw ma ling from another room. haha! and then blahblah. we told everyone and blahblah. haha! oh ya! he brought along this weird hat, and when delphine wore it, she looked like a clown. haha! a CUTE clown by the way. haha! ;)

hmm. shirley and ma ling disappeared for quite a while. someone announced that maybe they were doing 'something' somewhere out there. then tada! the both of them came back with a birthday cake! an oreo cheesecake! yay! happy birthday to you. lalala~. delphine looked so shocked, and everyone knows how she felt. haha! of course she felt happy and loved! she must be, of course! 'cos she have friends like us! ;)

ahh! unfortunately,i had to go off earlier 'cos of my stupid TUITION! ahh, can't change the day.grr! it always ruins my dates! i missed out lotsa things like seeing the shooting star chermaine and crytsal saw, and eating at marina. -sighs*. star-gazing too. :( oh! and lili didn't go 'cos she can't. :(

happy birthday
eugenia! :)

excuses, excuses!

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.
-Proverbs 12:22

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished."
"I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."
"The guy was all over the road. I had too swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

These 'excuses' may bring a smile, and some were probably meant to. But they also reminded us of how prone we are to shade the facts, especially when it works to our advantage.

speak the truth,

and nothing but the truth!

freaker!

ahh. finally had time to blog.
the happenings for the week.

monday
-10january2005
study, study, study. after school we tried buying our mounting boards but it was out of stock everywhere. we went to mac, and i kinda 'lost' my phone. haha! turns out that i actually didn't realise delphine to have taken it. haha! tried out the new pepper beef burger from mac. it's not so bad, only kinda expensive.
while at mac, shirley fooled a lot of people and we were all laughing like mad. oh! and corrie wasn't with us 'cos she's got the student leader thingy. chermaine too 'cos she went for a dip in the pool. :)
me and lili went off first 'cos she doesn't wanna stay at mac. went to the mrt first, and then walked to the holland bookshop to buy some stuffs.
i hailed a cab but while in the cab, domdom called so we just met up at bk holland. and i wasted $2.40. haha! but it's ok.
stayed at bk, and then we walked to the pet shop to see dogs. and then we walked back to ghim moh, and then i cabbed home.
ahh. i think there're more details on the previous entry. :)

tuesday
- 11january2005
they all had volleyball, so i went with lili to the np room to find mr lee. we ended up gossiping about stuffs, and i was so engrossed with his phone. i kept taking pictures like a madwoman. haha!
we went to the market to have our lunch. i was finding and finding for my nasi lemak but i can't find any! ahh! then lili escorted me to this stall, with potatoes! yipee! potato! i discovered something new! yipee! wahaha! i seldom go to the market, that's why i don't know about it. haha!
ahh, actually wanted to go home with lili, but ended up meeting dom again. ahh, left you alone again, lili. SORRY! :( .
talked a bit, then went to block 3's study area. then he did my a lil bit of my chinese. then took some pictures. then went off at around 6 something.
we wanted to find crystal they all, then we found them eating at the market. then we helped them photocopy things. blahblahblah. cabbed home again.

happy birthday
isabel! :)

wednesday
-12january2005
all of us went to different places. crystal with eugenia to far east, chermaine with her sis to swimswim, delphine and shirley to forgot-where, lili and i to clementi. we ate some tako's and drank our milk teas, then headed to big bookshop to buy our art materials. oh! and we did something. haha! something something. shall zip my mouth. haha! and surprisingly, for the first time in 2005, i didn't cab home. wahaha!

thursday
-13january2005
before our art remedial, we talked to ms xxx about some things. freakin pissed off. ahh, nothing better to do. hmm. then went to do art. after the remedial, we went to find them, then played volleyball for a while. ahh, my arm hurt, cos i haven't played for a long. then went to mac awhile. met a new guy. he's lili's primary school friend. ahh! he's so so cute and handsome! such big eyes, and he's kinda sweet and nice too. but he's so easy to be fooled! harhar! fooled by me twice! hmm. we exchanged email add's. then cabbed home AGAIN.

friday
-14january2005
we ate at sp 'cos we wanna try out lili's mum's cooking. ahh! it was so damn nice man! especially her potatoes. mmm! yummy!
went different ways 'cos they have volleyball, i have guides and lili has np.
guides was okay at first. tied guidelines, and found out something horrifying. i don't even know if what they were saying is true. so freaky! my whole face felt so hot, but i TRIED pretending that i didn't here anything of that sort.
ahh, but during the footdrills, i kept thinking and thinking and not concentrating. i kept forgetting the timing! ahh, and when it was almost ending, i was so pissed that i shouted at the top of my lungs! ahh! pissed pissed pissed! pissimo!
we waited for each other, ate at the market. then i cabbed home with them. CABBED again. ahh! freaking hell, i'm so so broke.

CORRIE! have fun camping!
:)

oh! amazingly, i remembered EVERYTHING! yay! my memory is improving! yipee! but still slow. yep!

tough, tough luck. :(

margareth came over yesterday. she took my sissy's notes for present and future reference. hmm. she went off at 7 something. she ate at my house and we kinda made fun of dom through msn. :) my idea actually. gossiped quite a lot. shall keep mum. =)

school was as usual. so freaking boring. and i had pms today too. haha! not really pms but it's kinda like, ahh, just having mood swings. =D after school, we - crystal, shirley, delphine, lili and tricia, went to the bookshop to try buying our mounting boards. ahh, out of stock, tough tough luck.

went in the comic shop 'cos i wanted to photocopy something BUT tough tough luck is here so the machine was spoilt. ahh! grr!

hung out at mac, went in 7-eleven to buy my medicine, KITKAT! oh, and i realised that my phone was missing when i went back to mac. and then i was like, 'oh shit. where's my phone.' then i kinda saw delphine's face smiled A LIL and i suspected that she took it. then OMG! so so sorry about it, delphine. i kinda slapped her (but not hard!) 'cos i was too shocked and then blahblahblah. found out that it was actually with them all along. hah! i was right man! they gave me such a shock!.

tried out the beef thingy at mac, costs a bomb for something like that. but bought it anyway. then we talked a bit, and laughed at those people who were tricked by us. haha!

lili and i went off first 'cos she needa get home early. then we went to holland to see if they sold those mounting boards. ahh, tough tough luck! grrr!

i hailed a cab, then when inside, rriinngg!. ahh. guess who. DOM! ahh, wrong timing, dude. but i alighted about 50 meters away from that place anyway. then met at BK and blah blah blah.

orientation.

cca orientation day
-07january2005

school's as usual. after school was so tiring.

we hung out at the volleyball passageway and i thought of styling my hair since it looks so bushy. then rachel started to play with my hair. then claudia helped me to style a bit. she put some hairclips and i look so so stupid! haha. stella told me to look at her eye to see how i looked like so i did. haha! so many times! haha! then blahblahblah. corrie tried out spiking my hair 'cos she wanna know how her bro does it. haha! then turned out to look okay. peiyi and stella kinda helped out a bit 'cos stella wants my side to look more like comic boy's. haha!

i went to change to my full u. crapped around a bit. then min hui came and she was so in a bad mood. ahh, have to just control my temper 'cos i cant do anything also. they picked me for the flag break and i was so nervous that i kept pulling the right rope at the wrong place! wahaha! the flag doesn't wanna open and i scared everyone! wahaha! stupid! haha!

walked around trying to find some sec 1's but there were so few. then i found some and kinda pestered them 'cos our guides population is so small! haha. have to recruit more this time. then i found out that most of them put guides as their 3rd choice and volleyball as their 1st! god! i'm so gonna kill mr. chew! but it's okay. volleyball's a great sport. i can't deny that. :)

after the whole thing, we helped to clean the guide den. was scolded by min hui out of no reason. about the spray cans. 'cos me and eugenia were the ones who did the banner, and she thought that we dumped everything inside the cupboard. but it wasn't true 'cos it was sutrisno or whoever who touched the banner last. but she won't believe we can't do anything.

we were dismissed at around 6.15pm. i went to find lili to cab home with her. on the way, we bumped into delphine, corrie, tricia and boon. they chatted awhile while i went in 7-eleven to buy my kitkats. yum! then we bid goodbye to them. :)

so so tired yesterday. i slept the whole damn day today. don't know how the hell am i gonna sleep tonight.
argh! :)

hater note for YOU!

i hate you!
i just hate you!
what are you trying to do, asshole?
ihateyou ihateyou I HATEYOU!

just because i can tolerate all your nonsense doesn't mean that you can go on and treat me like this! i have my temper too okay! and don't think that i can forgive you so easily just by being sweet and saying sorry 'cos it's not gonna work!

i'm super angry with you and i wanna hit and scream and yell and shout and KILL you! ARGH! i'm gonna strangle you to death the next time i see you!

--

and i'm still angry okay!
grrr!!

show me that you love me!

if you wanna know how much i appreciate you, try to catch every single raindrop. the ones you catch is how much you appreciate me and the ones you miss is how much i appreciate you.

i'm sorry if all i do is to have pms. i just cant take it anymore! i feel really ignored. and my imagination is running wild! i go crazy over stuffs so easily! i hate this feeling! i hate it!
it takes two hands to clap. so, if you won't reach out your hand, i won't reach out mine. you know me.

--mine-me-mine,..
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

->let time heal.
'cos the time is not yet ripe.
-as quoted by crystal.

i don't wanna close my eyes.

hui ahh. i changed 'cos i thought, maybe it's better to change something for the new year. so, yeah. nice eh? :) hmm. and i am so so sorry if i kept writing out your name like that. i just find it soo cute. aw, please. just let me off. hehe. just treat it as your pet name only used by me and no one else but me! okay? :) oh and, i so don't want to go back to school! i have to wake up early again and waste money for cab rides whenever i'm late, which is almost everytime. ahh! but i'm gonna see you again! yay! love ya! :)

; tingting hey! thanks for the help okay? :) happy new year again and god bless you! take care! :)

`anna hey! thanks huh! hmm. don't you need the books yourself? i thought you still have to use your sec 3 books for sec 4? i mean, don't you use the same books? haha! hmm. your already sec 4 this year so must study real hard okay? take care! i miss ya! :)

i wanna go sleep now but i thought that maybe i should write out my thoughts for today.

it's already 2005. time really flies. it's like, i was just 13 yesterday. i couldn't imagine myself surviving all the ups and downs in life all alone well, almost. 'cos i know that no matter what happens, someone would be by my side, doing anything he/she can just to see me smile. i want to thank everyone who helped me in every single bit of way. i love you guys. thank you for caring so much for me.

i know it's a new year, but nothing seemed to change AT ALL. i'm still stuck with the same old problems. and now, i really feel so alone more than ever 'cos i know that none of my sweethearts could help me. they know i feel miserable, but they can't do anything! i'm stuck! i'm still here at 2004. i've not left yet.

it's like, everyday, i hope and hope for things to be like before. i want things to go back to normal. but now i'm not even sure what normal is 'cos to everyone else's eyes, THIS is normal.

blues.

i actually didn't wanna blog but i suddenly had an urge to do so. i don't know why but my fingers just kinda itches. it's like i wanna type out some stuffs which i can't type out here. so, what i'm planning to do now is to keep my fingers occupied so that i won't type anything nonsensical or rather, anything displeasing or hurtful to some.

i went to school today for guides to do some banner stuffs for the sec ones next friday. it was kinda messy at first 'cos we had no idea on what to do. then finally we had some so eugenia asked me to write the words 'cos she hadn't touched a single pen for 2 months. so, i did the writing and it appeared to be kinda nice. that stupid shike even thought i had vandalized walls before 'cos my so-called writing was like a professional vandalizer's.

i screwed up spraying the "guides" 'cos the spray color's also kinda screwed up and i was kinda pissed but it was like, it's okay, jurv-ia. it's nothing. haha. then i was back to normal, then blahblahblah. ahh! i don't wanna talk about this! lemme talk about something else!

hmm.

replies
edmund haha.. of course i care! haha. it's just that i was kinda lazy yesterday so i didn't reply lor. haha!
huiyii hey! you are NOT fat okay! seriously, you aren't fat in any way! you're cute but you're NOT fat! cute people like YOU aren't fat! haha! and he's not mean! oh please don't scold him. he's not he's not okay? we're just playing. haha! but i'll make sure you'll have the chance to box and torture him if he bullies me okay? haha! you're the only one who's been given this great privilege ehh, so you must treasure it! wahaha! ;P

from the heart and soul
ting ignore them! ignore them all! their just a bunch of crazy people who's out to do craps and shit. ignore them and cheer up okay? :)
jiee are you ALRIGHT? have you recovered from your FEVER? haha! just asking. take care of yourself ehh. don't always get sick! fight off those flus! haha! take care! iloveyou!
lili aw man! school's reopening soon. i miss you so damn much! oie! update your blog la, girl! i've nothing to do nowadays eh.
gang i miss you guys!! ahh! see you guys on the 3rd! iloveyouguys! kisses kisses and more kisses!
husband! having a great time there, eh? forgot all about me. sobs!* nah, can understand that 'cos your com's kinda crazy. i can't do anything bout it. :( belated merry christmas and an early new year! better keep to your new resolutions now, sweetheart. and! have fun with your luvs there! but love me too okay? haha! love ya!
megs! you didn't even bring me to your next holiday! how dare you! bad girl! :( you didn't even visit me! you went abroad without me and then you left me here during christmas?! how dare you! i texted you and there was no reply and i tried calling but your cell was turned off! hmpf! you didn't even gimme the chance to say i miss you and all. remember my presents okay? i'm gonna kill you if you don't even send me a present. hah! mwah mwah mwah babes!
aiko! honey! it's been like AGES since i last spoke to you! where are you?! i called you and you were outside with whoever and i felt really bad 'cos it was ben who i talked to and not you. i really miss you hons! oh! and, tell you something. say I DO if you really love him. believe me. everythings gonna work out perfectly. trust me darling. have faith in yourself. iloveyou darling. :)

ahh. it seems like my heart's so light now. it's lighter now, really. i can't believe how easily i can be fooled with just a few iloveyou's. argh! but i do love you. i really REALLY do. it's just that i'm poisoning myself with thoughts i shouldn't be bothering about. it hurts to untie myself but i have to.

have i ever?
could i ever?

pimple attack!

arghh! pimples! arghh! i wanna kill myself already! arghh! it won't go away! what should i do?! i can't help but squeez 'em real hard! ahh! beat my hands up! beat 'em beat 'em! arghh!

ahh enough with the pimples.
i went to buy my books yesterday. was supposed to meet lili at 9.30am but i was too lazy to get outta bed so i just told her to go with geraldine. haha. sorry lili.

i slept for awhile more and then off i go to ghim moh to meet dom. then blah blah blah, then went to school to buy my books. then he helped me carry the heavy ones while i carry the super light ones. haha!

okay, so we went in the cd shop there and i was kinda tempted to buy the sims 2 but nahh. 'cos i don't think it can work with my com. com's kinda slow for it. hee.

headed to the shoe shop to buy my shoes then ate at the market. i ate my nasi lemak while he ate his western food (??) plus a plate of fries. then he told me something really, REALLY mean. "now i know why you're so fat." (hmm. okay, change that to you're fatter than me 'cos you're so fat sounds kinda ugly.) haha! but it's okay 'cos i admit that i'm kinda fat 'cos i really grew this hols. haha! and it's soo soo obvious that i'm fatter than him okay! haha! but it is SO UNFAIR 'cos he eats three times more than me! and then it's like i'm three times fatter than him! wahaha! nahh, just exaggerating. haha!

we shared a cab. he went to queenstown to find his buddies while i went to my homesweethome.
ahh nice. slept the whole time i was at home. nice. damn nice. :)

oh! daddikins and bro just came back from the phil. ahh.

was supposed to go to ubin with them to cycle. haha! kinda lazy, and dad just came back. i don't wanna go out. haha! i think they went to east coast instead. :)

i miss cycling i miss cycling i miss cycling!

27december2004
happy birthday
ainna! :)

yesterday, all my troubles seem so far away.

sugar cane-like replies
hui haha! don't be jealous.. i'm sorry alright? haha. 'cos doing two things at the same time isn't that good you know. haha! i love you okay? and dom will NOT get jealous, i swear! haha!
huiyiii heyy! yep, i did enjoy my christmas. hee.. it was kinda fun even though i didn't get exactly what i wanted. nahh, it's okay. it's the thought that counts anyway. :), take care too! :)
#tingting belated merry christmas! haha! did your wishes come true? ahh, mine didn't actually. but it's okay. i had a fun time though so never mind. take care ALWAYS! :)

christmas christmas-
met up with domdom at orchard yesterday to celebrate christmas. we went to find his cousin at a billabong shop 'cos he wanted to buy some stuffs. boy, he was on shopping spree. and he took very long shopping okay! he's soo like a girl! i don't shop like that okay! ahh! i was bored so i called a few people. i tried calling megs but her cell was turned off. she went to somewhere abroad for vacation. tried calling aiko but she was out with some people so i talked to ben for a while instead.

and then after his shopping around i begged and begged for us to go take neos but i failed! ahh never mind.

okok. ate at kfc. we actually wanted to watch a movie but there weren't any nice movies so never mind (again!). oh my god! i'm so gonna kill people! i'm so damn pissed!! arghh! bridget jones: the edge of reason, blade trinity and meet the fockers are all nc-16! arghh! those are the three movies that i wanted to watch the most! arghh! i wanted to sneak in with him but ahh, forget it. i wanted to watch phantom of the opera too but it's at lido and i'm kinda lazy to walk all the way there so forget it (again!!).

so, we have nowhere to go so i suggested that we buy gummy bears at heeren. i was so desperate to take neos that he actually thought i was trying to trick him. but no, i wasn't okay! honest!

we went in and sat at the fountain there instead of buying gummies. we had nowhere to go! ahh! i said i wanted to go to the beach but we'll look silly with jeans! then i said we could go kbox. we called crystal but she doesn't wanna go 'cos she's broke. ahh, never mind (again again!), it's okay.
ahh! then we went in hmv. argh! i felt like dancing but i can't do that there! people will think i'm a psycho! haha! omg! i saw my smallville dvd's and i really want to have them but it's $100 plus! how am i supposed to get them if i still have to save up for an mp3 player and spend my money for christmas presents? ahh, okay, forget it (again again!!).

i haven't bought my mum's, sis's and lil bro's gifts so we decided to go christmas shopping. haha. it's kinda late but it's okay.

looked around the wallet shop 'cos mum's been wanting a new wallet. i walked around the shop a few times and i still couldn't find the wallet. arghh! i picked one out, the prettiest among the row but still kinda ugly, and i have already decided to pay for it. but good thing he saved me from buying that horrible wallet! the moment i saw it, i knew it is the one. haha! so i went to pay for it and it felt really good!

okay so, one down two more to go! went around the mall trying to spot the perfect earrings for my dear sister. went in mini toons. it was sparkling all over and it kinda made my eyes tired. i was trying really, really hard to find the perfect earrings for her but i couldn't find any! but anyway, he found the perfect earring for sis and it's really great! he's really better than me at shopping.

yay! the only one left is my lil bro's. but his gift is the hardest of the hardest to find. i have no idea what to give him.

taka was really over-crowded yesterday okay! and i don't feel like buying the present anymore 'cos i don't see the point of buying a present for a naughty boy. santa don't give presents to naughty children so why must i?? but he encouraged me to buy 'cos he said it's the season of giving (which is my line, actually).

ahh. i wanted to sit 'cos i'm so tired but he insisted on finding something for my bro so, yep. in the end, he found something for my lil bro.

we cabbed home 'cos i was not in the mood to wait for the bus. he went up my house and then assembled the toy for my lil bro. he ate there and he wanted to wait for my sis to give her the gift. my sis came at around 11pm and then we gave her the earrings and the perfume. we kinda shared presents by the way. :)

ahh, he stayed a while more and he went home at 12 something.
oh, wonderful wonderful.

ahh. i doubt that my christmas wish will come true.
oh obviously it won't!
-sighss*

here i am.

chirstmas celebration
-23december2004
corrie, crystal, lili, chermaine and tricia came at around 03.45pm. we watched 50 first dates and then halfway through the show, shirley and delphine came. some of us felt hungry so we planned to order pizza from canadian. it was soo soo funny 'cos they dialled the wrong number and then called that same number a few times i think. wahaha! hmm. it was a good thing i remembered the number and then gave it to them. haha! lili was kinda pissed 'cos their service wasn't that good. haha! and then blah blah blah, the pizza came, we ate it, and then exchanged gifts. we picked lots twice 'cos delphine took her own number the first time. delphine got mine, corrie got delphine's, i got corrie's, crystal got tricia's, chermaine got lili's, and.. i forgot the others. haha!

we watched a bit of double happiness 2, and then we kinda pulled crystal 'cos she doesn't wanna let go of the tv. so we went downstairs to swim. everyone was shivering 'cos the water was cold and it was very windy. we swam and swam and swam. then we went to bathe.

i went down with them 'cos i wanna go eat with them. we took a cab for tricia and lili first, then off we went to the food junction. we were eating so slowly that we were the last to go. i think it was about 10.30pm

headed to shell to buy sweets and other stuffs. saw fann wong's comic book which costs $19.90. chermaine was curious so she bought it. and then we went to the bus stop. there weren't any cabs there. ahh! and then i went off first at 11.00pm. hehe.

-if only you were here

christmas eve
i bummed around 'cos i was the only one left at home. hah! they went to somewhere. ahh i don't know! was supposed to go with my sis to the mango sale but i was lazy. -grins*
went to the duck tour that night. ahh! don't ever go there! you'll just waste your money! i swear it's not worth it! it's soo soo stupid! i swear!

christmas
i'm still at home. going out later with dom later.

happy birthday
philson!

replies
hui merry christmas too sweetie. i love you! enjoy your christmas!
huiyi hey! enjoy your christmas too okay! yep! going out with him later! :) merry christmas!

ahh! i dreamed last night! it is soo soo nice! exactly what i wished for! omg! how i wish it was real. :(

for this christmas,
ive gotten myself
a very special wish.

i hereby wish upon
this lil special thing,
glowing like a xmas tree

-i wish FOR you;
i wish ONLY for you.

:) -may my wish come true*

merry christmas peeps!
i love you guys!
from the bottom of my heart.
i love you.

my results!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

yay! they're all coming over to my house to exchange presents! yay! it'll be fun! haha! yipee yay yay! yeah.. gotta stop blogging now. tata!

#[tingting] i'll try k, ting. :) but it won't be easy. :( hehe. thanks. :)
hui haha! i haven't wrapped it yesterday but i did it already! haha! actually, it isn't me. it's my aunt. haha! i don't know how to wrap. haha!

just replies.

hmm. alright. here's just some reply to the tags before i log off.
athiyah thank you for the compliment! hehe. and thank you so much for comforting me. :) i will cheer up okay? i'm TRYING to let go. but it's kinda hard, and i kinda don't want to 'cos of all the memories. oh! the whole things kinda complicated. maybe i'll tell ya some other time okay? hmm. and i think i know your number. take care!! i miss you soo soo much! love ya!
hui hehe. okay sure. i'll call ya anytime. and do call me too if your bored at home okay? hmm. i've already bought the presents for tomorrow. but i haven't wrap it up yet. and i don't have wrapping paper! arghh! ahh who cares. haha! see ya tomorrow okay? and ignore that stupid doodleboard. it's got some stupid problem. hah! love ya!
edmundo hey! you're welcome. um, you linked me last time and you tagged me too remember? you asked me to link ya and then i did. that's how i know your url. merry x'mas too! see ya next year!
neT you're welcome you're welcome. haha! i miss you all of a sudden you know. hope to see you again next year! haha. and it's better if i see you with your hair dyed. haha!
#[tingting] hey! thanks! you're blog's nicer. you're better than me on codes. haha! blogger queen! haha! winks!*
huiyiii haha! YOU ARE WELCOME! you don't have to thank me so much for what i did. haha! it's what i'm supposed to do when you're in need! and how many times must i tell you to just look for me whenever you have problems? haha! i'm always here for you okay? i love you!

wish upon a star, wherever you are. and don't ever stop till your wishes come true.

i'm in a more stable peace of mind this morning. thank god!, i love you.

well, that was what i thought. 'cos everything seems to have been blown off by the wind. but everything's still there. i'm still carrying it around me, everywhere i go. but i'm trying to tie off that knot between us. i'm trying, it's still hard though. hope is already like my shadow. it follows me everywhere.

there was fire out of nowhere again. what is happening? i really don't understand. all the bitch came out of me all of a sudden. i don't know why. i turned into a beast, an unfeeling one.

but as i look at the dog who's been with me for 185 days, i knew that i couldn't let go. i love boo, i love him. my heart melts so easily whenever i look at it's eyes. it's full of mystery, sometimes anguish. i could not let go so easily.

so now i have to hide the beast within me, or rather, take it all away completely. i have to try!
i can't have everything in life. i chose this path and i'm walking straight ahead, but lemme peep at the other road sometimes okay? :(

let's get together, yea yea yeah..

hah! my cousins! they came to visit from hong kong. well we're not really that close 'cos we barely see each other but it's still fun being with them.

tong-tong is the same age as me, but i'm still older by a few months. he was so quiet at first because we didn't talk at all! i think he was shy. but oh my, a few hours later, he began yakking non-stop and he was laughing like hell about everything! oh my god! and he was laughing at how i spoke chinese! haha! and we were laughing about singlish because of the lah's and loh's at the end of every sentence, and about how i tried speaking cantonese. i just couldn't! i get so tongue-tied! haha! and you know what, without the lah's loh's mah's and meh's, the sentence doesn't seem to sound right. try it! hah!

oh! and i had this crazy idea of planning to go to hong kong to study, because i really miss my other cute cousin there. i miss our overnight trips and our non-stop laughing and.. everything! aww. and he's so sweet..! he misses me too! and oh my gosh! he has a girlfriend already! haha! he's got a girlfriend only after going there for 2 months! hah! he is so DAMN cool! my, he won the girl's heart after only 2 short months! haha! and i didn't think that he'll get a girlfriend so soon 'cos he's kinda childlike before. whoo!~ he surely changed a lot! god, i miss him!
but, you know what, i'm kinda serious about the hong kong thing. but too bad, i don't think i'll ever get to go there to study. haha! but i really wanna learn cantonese though. haha! inspired by my greatest and coolest cousin! :)

okay, so anyhow, back to my cousin tong-tong. hmm. we have lots of things in common! we both love swimming, hate veggies, snore kinda lots (he snores more than me okay!), farts and burps loudly (okay, you got me. just keep quiet okay? =D), and blah blah blah. i shan't continue. haha! i might get exposed over some stuffs. haha! hmm. but he's totally sick! he loves watching the happy tree family! in case you don't know what it consist of, it's full of bloody cartoons being tortured! oh my god! what is he? a kind of sadist?! haha! i kept screaming and yelling at him while the the clip was playing! and he kept laughing and was enjoying watching the whole bloody thing! eeww! fine, stop nagging about happy tree. he HATES volleyball! i can't believe he hates it! haha! it's such a lovely sport! a cool sport! better than his stupid rugby i guess. haha!

hui yes girl! i'm a very bored girl, you know that. hehe. well anyway, i'll cheer up okay? well, at least i'll try because, .. you know why right? haha! tag me more often okays? 'cos i miss you super duper lots! and i'll call ya when i have some hot gossips okay? or maybe YOU call me if you have some. hah!
huiyi i miss you too jiee! hmm. it's hard not to be sad, you know. it's easy to say it but it's really tougher doing it. and fyi, it IS possible for the both of us to not talk for the next 2 years given this situation i'm in. it's really complicated. :( hmm.? have i mentioned that i miss you? haha!