here's to you, favorite f-er. :):):)

dearest leyley,
hey favorite f-er. i'm so touched that you left a "cheer up!" section in one of your entries for me. so now, here's yours! :):):)



i may not know what has been troubling you these few days. but what i know is this: i may not be here for you physically, but you are never alone. 'cos your bedsheet will always be there for you no matter what! &&, if she's not available, your favorite f-er is always here whenever you need her, 24/7! :) i know i'm too tall for me to give you my shoulder to cry on, BUT no fear 'cos i'll bend down for you all the way. haha, it'll be backbreaking but i'll do anything just to make you feel better. remember, i'm just a phone call away so if you ever need me, gimme a ring!

MWAH!
i know la, shirley. i'm the sweetest lesbo you've ever had! HAHAHA! :):):)

phantom.

relationships are like glass.
sometimes it's better to leave them broken
than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

pain goes phantom.
i'm on my knees, only memories are left for me to hold.

want!

After all this time,
I never thought we'd be here.
Never thought we'd be here,
When my love for you was blind.
But I couldn't make you see it,
Couldn't make you see it.
That I love you more than you'll ever know,
A part of me died when I let you go.

i don't want someone who doesn't want me.
but if there's the slightest chance that he does,
then i'm not gonna let go.

far away for far too long.

there's a lull and then another wave hits you. NO, it's not like that. it doesn't come in waves.
i miss him. all the time i miss him. it's not waves, it's constant. ALL THE TIME.

not all wounds are superficial. most wounds run deeper than you can imagine. you can't see them with the naked eye.
i know i can look perfectly fine on the outside. but my inside, it tells a whole other story.

I M I S S Y O U .

i know i've no right to be missing you, or to even be thinking about you at all. but i miss you, a whole damn lot. & i can't do anything to make that go away because i love you. i love you too damn much to forget everything we had together. i know i'm a very messed up girl with serious emotional problems. but i swear to god that i'm not having any doubts on how i feel about you now.

i need you. i need you to care for me, to give me warmth even when you're the one who's cold, to take care of me when i'm sick, to baby me when i ask you to, to cuddle me just because, to kiss my hand and make me feel like your princess, to sniff the top of my head and tell me how you love the way i smell, to hold my hand and never want to let me go, to dance with me whenever i force you, to be here for me whenever i need you.

i need you, i need us. this may be the world's biggest mistake & i know i sound really really selfish but i don't care anymore. i don't wanna care about what other people say anymore. the thing is, i just want you to be here with me. i just need you, need you so so much.

sighs..

say goodnight.

met up with the sushiteiclan at chinasquare sushitei. had a very noisy dinner while discussing about everything under the sun! :)
walked around chinatown since we were sodamnFULL. stopped over scarlet hotel. wanted to chill there but the tables were all occupied. :( went over to the hawker center instead.
xingxia, melissa, catherine &shimin wanted to go home, so we sorta sent them to the mrt station. while walking, that stupid cass said she's super urgent and wanted to peepee, HAHA! so we said byebye to them & u-turned to greyzonebar. chilled &played pool there 'til 2++ am. OMG, i tell you. the way chermaine & i played, it was hilarious 'cos i havent played in like, a gazillion years! &chermaine is super noob! LOL! cass & crystal were laughing their asses off!

ahh anyway, i'm gonna go lie down on my bed now. my foot is killing me! argh, should have worn that stupid ugly grey colored robotic boot out. :(

-------------

those days are gone, and i want you so much. the night is long and i need your touch. don't know what to say, i never meant to feel this way. don't want to be alone tonight.

What can I do, to make you mine?
Falling so hard so fast this time.
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

going down. :(

I'll tell you flat out,
It hurts so much to think of this.
So from my thoughts I will exclude,
The very thing that,
I hate more than everything is,
The way I'm powerless,
To dictate my own moods.

Amoris vulnus idem sanat, qui facit!!~

corrie & lila's 17th.

on the 6th, we celebrated lila & corrie's birthday. :)
had dinner at chicago's steakhouse, took neoprints &kbox-ed 'til midnight. :)



corrie & i.






with the bitch i love to camwhore with,
my fave f-er. :)



birthday girls with the cake.
MAKE A WISH! :)


neo! :):):)


star light, star bright,
first star i see tonight,
i wish i may, i wish i might,
have the wish i wish tonight.
HAPPY17TH BIRTHDAY,
YOU TWO! :)

look back or move forward?

there comes a time when every life goes off course. in this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. will you fight to stay on the path? will others tell you who you are or will you label yourself? will you be haunted by your choice or will you embrace your new path? each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

there comes a time when every life goes off course. in this desperate moment, who will you be? will you let down your defenses and find solace in someone unexpected? will you reach out? will you face your greatest fears with bravery and move forward with faith? Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?

there are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it. you know, sometimes people disappoint you. i get that. i kinda expect that. but what if you wake up one day and realise you're the disappointment? :(

OUCH!

pain, it comes in all forms. the small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain that we live with everyday. then there is the kind of pain you just can't ignore, a level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else, makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt, how we manage our pain is up to us. we anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. there are no solutions, no easy answers. you just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. pain you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more.

this pain i feel, you will never understand!

my 17th!

what pigs love to eat. =D


engrossed with the tv show.
ugh! i look super UN-GLAM! :C


the pigs. who's the cutest?
hint: MEMEME! hahaha!

the result of boredom.


TRIPLE S!
Super Spastic Shots!



the MAKE-A-WISH process


the ice-cream cake, before & after!
yeah, we eat like piggo's!


1, 2 & 3!

diamonds crystal are is a girl's best friend!


the wild side of me.
okay pleeeaaasssseeee don't freak out.
I'M STRAIGHT! hahaha!

ehh, okay. that's all folks! :) :) :)