okay, a short post before i tuck in.

• tom yam after school with ley &phiney, like finally!
• tiong with ley to meet the guys.
• neoprints, while the guys are practically gobbling up all the food they can eat at sakae.
• did the lesbo kiss again in one of the neos.
• i look stupid in almost all the prints, and of course ley looks cute! ;)
• we spent a long long time inside tiong doing almost nothing!
• blahblahblah, fixed the gundam that me &hL bought a few days ago. (i know, childish right?)
• the cab uncle praised me like mad!
• he said i can go very far with my "good looks"! :) like a stewardess, or maybe even an actress!
• hmm, dream on girl! it's just too good to be true. HAHA!

since that day, the emptiness won't go away.
&that's the reason why it's fucking hard for me to say out my feelings.
not even bawl my eyes out..

circle the love, cross the hate!

today, i declare that these three bitches, chermaine delphine and shirley, are the three superwomen in the whole wide world!
they carried me and their back didn't break! imagine a LOBSTER carrying a DONKEY thrice her size?? IMAGINE THAT! now isn't sally the lobster the best?? =D
how about chermaine? she tried to carry me but i almost strangled her to death.
well at least she's better than this stupid POTATO QUEEN right? this stupid potato face only knows how to eat potato all day long and wouldn't even wanna carry me. she hesitated and only carried me for 3 meters! its not as if a DONKEY could crush a POTATO FACE right?
MWAHAHA! i'm evil.

besides that, i became a lesbian for a day.
check this out!


oh don't worry! this is only for a day! and besides, i look like a witch here, well that's what they said. :) and and, hL wouldn't kill me. and lobster my dear, your chicken wouldn't bother either 'cos i'm not a guy!! if i'm a guy, of course it'll bother him! :)

okay, another one after art remedial.


hmm. well there are still other photos that we took. but it's with yanyi so maybe i'll update next time. :)


just stop, 'cause i really love you.
stop, i'll be thinking of you.
look in my heart and let love keep us together.. :)

i'd die just to see you smile.

easy is to hurt someone who loves you,
difficult is to heal the wounds..

i wish i knew the right words to say.
they say, "time heals all wounds". but in my opinion, time only serves to make things worse.

i hope you know how much i love you. i love you, with all my heart. i really do.
i'm hurting so much inside. the pain, so unbelievably unbearable.
i just want you to hold me in your arms, and never let me go..

'cos what the world needs now, is love, sweet love.
that's the only thing that is just too little..

what happens then?

what happens when you've been hurt in a way so unimaginable that your heart feels like it's been stuffed in a tiny box & it becomes so unbearably difficult to breathe?
what happens when the tears can't stop falling?

do you want me, like I want you?
or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
/ with the scenery flying by?
/ out of the corner of my eye?
was that you passing me by?

what happens when there is only one person who can make you stop crying?
what happens when that one person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?

what happens then? tell me please..
feel so broken down

so yesterday we went for the science thingy at the science center. damn boring by the way. the only fun part was when we drew something like an animal kingdom or whatever, where every of our close ones are inside. something like me being the donkey, lila as the airpork, sotong as.. well, sotong. HAHA! yep, that's some of it. did a draft and we're gonna draw again when we're free. :) bowled at west bowl and it was fun. :) lila claimed that she doesn't know how to play but she almost had a strike okay! after that was pizza hut and everyone ate like hungry ghosts. =D yep, played and played. the plan was to go to bugis with lila but we were too lazy so we went to big bookshop instead. roamed around the place for quite awhile, and then we went off..

&&, my m&m experiment FAILED! how sad.. :(

today was just dinner with family. went shopping with mum and dad at orchard. okay, we ended up food shopping! well, nothing surprising. everyone in the family LOVES TO EAT! :)
dang! have to go to atsi claire's birthday party later at 6. ahh! i'm too tired to go. but i'll go anyway. :)

so, do you miss me like i miss you?

back with the past.

it's silly having told you guys that i'm going and gone. and then after just a day, i'm here again.
though i may be back, it's not my whole. there's still a part of me that's empty &lost.
yes, the face you see is a mask.

i don't know why, i love you so much.
i can't feel because i'm just too lost.
not too much mad as no more.
so is it you, is it me, is it us,
or is it trust??

there's no one left in the world that i can hold onto.
there is really no one left at all.
there is only you.
and if you leave me now, you leave all that we were.
UNDONE.
there is really no one left.
you are the only one.
and still the hardest part for you is to put your trust in me.
i love you more than i can say.
why won't you just believe me?

off-

they fell, and never grew back.
goodbye blogger.
i may come back,
or may be gone forever..

it's all because of you, i'm feeling sad and blue.
you went away, now my life is just a rainy day.
and i love you so, how much you'll never know.
you've gone away and left me lonely..

untouchable memories, seem to keep haunting me.
another love so true, that once turned all my gray skies blue.
but you disappeared, now my eyes are filled with tears,
and i'm wishing you were here with me.

soaked with love, all my thoughts of you,
now that you're gone, i just don't know what to do.

if only you were here, you'd wash away my tears.
the sun would shine, once again you'd be mine all mine.
but in reality, you and i will never be,
'cause you took your love away from me.

boy, i don't know what i did to make you leave me.
but what I do know is that since you've been gone,
there's such an emptiness inside.
i'm wishing you'd come back to me.

if only you were here, you'd wash away my tears.
the sun would shine, once again you'd be mine all mine.
but in reality, you and i will never be,
'cause you took your love away from me.

oh baby, you took your love away from me.

sayonara.
i know when i die, you'll be on my mind.
and i'll love you, always..

easter NO surprise.

happy easter everyone.

i suppose i wouldn't be getting that easter egg today anymore. :(
and it's not gonna be a happy easter for me either.

waiting..
waiting..
and waiting..

goody-good friday! :)

good friday! an anniversary of Jesus' death on the cross. years, decades, centuries, and even millions of years ago, God was crucified! that's my knowledge about good friday, and that easter day comes along too! :) yay! and i get to have a chocolate egg this easter! :)

tuition was the first thing this morning. and can you imagine me, sitting still on the chair and STUDYING MY SCIENCE FOR 3 HOURS?? AHH! i'm not lying! =D
after that ate at my cousin's place for lunch, followed by a call from my honeybuns. yep, we met up for awhile to catch a movie. was supposed to go to the library with lila but was cancelled in the end.
anyway, the movie, ultraviolet, wasn't that bad. just a lil complicated. before that, we saw PHINEY &HER RAYNER at the escalator when we were going down, and they were going up! :) okay, pastamania again for lunch, and i didn't eat anything except for the tiramisu and 2 sushis. i'm serious about my dieting okay! :) headed home after that.

i love him many many!
that guy who loves me for who i am. though he sometimes does constantly pick on my flaws. HAHA. :) <3

&crystal flew off to thailand today! BYEBYE! bring more bra's back for me &ley! WAHAHA!
&&, she LOVES her blog! HAHA!
we'll miss you!!

toodles! :)

the life i've missed, in both ways. :(

it's summer now over there, the place where i no longer are a part of. but still, a place where my heart belongs. my friends are all enjoying their time now. with everyone wearing pretty gowns and tuxedos. AHH! I MISSED THEIR PROM AND THEIR GRADUATION! :( stupid school holidays. march holidays should be longer! :((((((

i have a lot to catch up on with them. real lots. I MISS THEM!
i've this video of my supposed-to-be batch. ahh! it's soo soo touching. i'm jealous, and sad too. 'cos i can't spend all those good and bad times together with them. :(



argh! i was scared of leaving that life that i used to have. it was beautiful. ugliness wasn't in our dictionary. it was all words like beautiful or gorgeous or wonderful or awesome. yep, it was that pretty. and leaving something that beautiful isn't easy. :(

anyway nothing in this post today will be good. the mp3 that we bought for hL was confiscated by that stupid asshole. and then ms. ting is starting to catch people again, with the attire and all. and then blahblahblahblahblahblah. AHH! there are other things too. AHH!

i don't know, but all that i'm feeling now are negative stuffs. :(
shit. i miss the times when we used to hang out. you know, like after school during sec2. we were like, always playing volleyball at the playground or sometimes at the cc. laugh and laugh at stupid jokes, and then we'd go to mac and chat for hours even after the sun sets. REMEMBER THOSE TIMES PEOPLE? :( don't you just miss them?

lame, HAHA!

hmm, hL just left. he came over and we watched a lil bit of friends. after that was underworld evolution. that movie was kinda cool, though i didn't really pay attention much at the beginning. and then it was dinner time! had spaghetti and ice cream! yum yum! we kinda watched friends again after that. okay, basically we were glued to the tv the whole time he was around. ahh, kids. =D

ahh!! and and, speaking of kids, there are a bunch of kids playing at shirley's blog! CHECK IT OUT PEOPLE! 16 year old kids pointing their fingers at each other, trying to prove to EVERYONE that everyone else is a busybody except for themselves! (okay, am i talking about myself or what? HAHA!) it's not only me okay! SHIRLEY TOO! MWAHAHA!

SHITTY FUCKERS!

OMG i'm so so pissed off with my mum and my brother! UGH they're like so so irritating.
okay 'cos this is what happened yesterday.
i was sort of making fun of my lil brother and my mother was in a bad mood. and then she came to me and beat my hand! i wasn't happy so i said, "DON'T YOU BEAT ME OKAY!!". and then she said, "why can't i beat you? you're making fun of your brother, so why can't i?". i'm really pissed off with her giving me attitude without me doing anything you know. 'cos it's like when i'm talking to her really nicely, she'll just shout at my face, without me doing ANYTHING! anyway, yep, i was so pissed off and you know what i said? i screamed, "I WANT TO! WHY CAN'T I?! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!". i know it's very rude, but i really can't take this kind of thing. and to make the long story short, she threw at me, with great force, the thing that was hanging at our front door. and, to make things worse, it was actually made out of GLASS so guess what? my left arm now has lotsa scratches! and to top this off, it was also bleeding profusely! like FUCK IT. GRR! nobody in the house knows that it was made out of glass. if ever SHE knows that she wouldn't even DARE throw it at ME!

and you know what? she CALLED home after the incident! and she asked my maid if there were any glass that went in my skin. OMG like, WTF?! she's acting like SHE CARES? i thought all she cares about are HER FAVORITES which DOESN'T INCLUDE ME? and and, what's with the phone call? WHAT?? regretting her actions NOW?! like WHAT THE FUCK.

and there's another thing.
my little brother cut some of his hair all by himself and my mother was furious and was nagging like mad early this morning! and when my elder brother found out about it, HE ACCUSED ME OF CUTTING MY LIL BROTHER'S HAIR, AND EVEN SAID THAT I THREATENED HIM NOT TO TELL ANYONE! this is like, so shitty okay! i feel like KILLING THEM! AHH!

fuck them. fuck them all.

GREAT DAY!

i'm back! just gonna do a quickie since i told hL i'm gonna sleep soon. can't help but blog bout what happened!

sports day was horribly boring! i went there to criticise how slow people run and ley went there to get out of hell (her house). anyway, we were totally bored, went to the stupid toilet and it stinks so badly okay! damn. anyway, we gossiped all the way. only that the environment wasn't good enough so ley had a very cool plan on sneaking out. how? simple! climb up the gate! OMG it was one of the most exciting thing that happened that day besides gossiping.

went to tell honhon first to let him know where we're going. yep, at first he didn't want me to go, but he let me go in the end. so we climbed like nobody's business. it was fun and exciting and scary at the same time. :)

at kfc, ley and me were gossiping like HELL! gossiped about lotsa stuff. after a long long while, cheryl and tricia entered the place. talked, and then went to find the guys at the bowling place.

AHH! felt so tempted to bowl but nobody wanna play with me! cheryl and tricia had to go, and LOTSA LOTSA THINGS HAPPENED! VERY COOL! and i couldn't believe i did all that! JUST SO SO HAPPY! :) and and, hanlin is a PURE SOTONG. LOL!

it's time, my dear friend. :)
LOVEISINTHEAIR!

took cab with wjian and linlin as usual. TOODLES! :)

he bought me a kinder bueno egg with a puzzle inside! i pasted it on the wall! so pretty! :)
LOVE YOU!
i love you with every beat of my heart! <3

hey all! hmm, still sick. but i'm going for the sports day! shirley called me this morning around 10. asked me if i wanna go. so yep, i'm going. lila's not going though. she doesn't wanna do her np duty thingy. ahh! i'm supposed to meet ley at 1.45pm later. hope i'm not late! :)

the ugly truth.

i thought i could just laugh it off..

beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
somehow, i grew up believing that the person you loved with all your heart would be, in your eyes, the most beautiful and gorgeous person in the world.
and so perhaps believing in that notion was my fault.

maybe i was wrong.

you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one.
i wish i were good enough for you.
i wish i could give you the world.
i wish you would love me more..
just a lil bit more..

and now I try hard to make it, i just wanna make you proud.
i'm never gonna be good enough for you, can't pretend that i'm alright.

sometimes i wish i'm in my fantasy world.
so that you and i will always be smiling,
hand in hand, forever in love.
but i know that it will never be :(

err, i didn't blog yesterday so..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIYI!
that's for yesterday. :)

okay. corrie and crystal tagged me i think a couple of days ago. they were here to criticise me. one said i should stop buying curry puffs 'cos i'm too fat, and the other one said i'm too long-winded because of my very long entry. you know the one with lotsa sub-headings? yep, she was referring to that one. WAHAHA! ;)

YAY!

ahh! forked out money to cab to school again this morning! damn it. well, tried to catch lila at the bus stop but she already went off. in school, there was only shirley. she just came too, alone. phiney was gonna be late. so yep, passed the present to linlin. honestly speaking, i was very excited about giving him that bag. i don't know, maybe because i wanna see how happy, or shocked or whatever he is. LOL. after a few minutes he came back and gave me a HUGE 'WALAO' as a thank you, and of course rubbing my cheeks too. okay, he was obviously shocked. =) know why? 'cos i made him BELIEVE that it was gone! WAHAHA! and you know what? me, lila and cry went on saturday to buy the LAST PIECE! :)

blah blah to all the lessons except for english. mrs. aidil was not bad at all. although she can creep me out sometimes. =D anyway, after school i went to find mrs. chow while they were having chinese remedial. the gang went separate ways after that. me and lila went to mac and ate! AHH! but we swore that we are not gonna eat dinner! =D yep, the guys went to play pool again. as usual. :)

i believe that sometimes you put the person last because you care for him the most. so,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MISTER CUTECUTE- the one with the most contagious laugh, ever.
without the bitter, the sweet ain't sweet enough.
'cos we shared it all; the laughter, the angst, the anger, the comfort, the frustration, and the happiness.
<3