I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
But one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me.

i struggled to keep myself sane. i swear i did, i swear.
the air around me seems to be getting heavier and heavier. breathing now seems like a chore.

why is it that it will never ever cross your mind that all this love's true? why?
and why is it that even if you're still caught up by the past, you want to drag me into that dreadful hole? why is it that you want to bury me deeper and deeper into that thing i put behind for so long, and you look as if like you wanna shove it up my ass. i mean, what the hell? AHH NEVERMIND.

maybe i'm going to batam tomorrow for lunch with my family. damn. sometimes i really really hate my mother. my brother too. AHH!