too much hurt and too many lies. i've been naive enough to bluff my heart then, but now's different. i may not be stronger than before. i may still be that lil idiot who believed you. but never again will that happen. NEVER. i've let my feelings walk past me already. i'm never gonna let history repeat itself again. i'm never gonna put you back in my life agaiin. call me stupid. call me dumb. i don't fucking care anymore. 'cos you're fucking nobody to me in my life now.
i'm feeling so damn bad right now. not because of what i wrote up there, but because things just wouldn't go my way. the physical pain that i feel is so unbearable that once all my loved ones are not by my side, i just feel so down, so useless, so helpless. my heart, numb, caused by all the pain i feel everyday in my life. only in my sleep do i not feel the pain. only in my sleep do i have sweet dreams.
i feel like dying, like putting my life to an end but i know that i can never do that because i'm too weak to do so. i'm weak, so weak.
but thank you. thank you for being there for me. these people who are always by my side, the gang and of course, that sotong. :) thank you THANK YOU so SO much for being there for me.
and as for you, thank you so much for ruining my life. thank you. thank you so much for hurting me 'cos now i know what is real and what is not. THANK YOU, you BASTARD.
