tragic loss..

on the 31st of May 2006, we made a tragic loss.

our old life, Ghim Moh McDonald's is now closing for obvious reasons.
reason number 1 being: the gmss batch 2003 & 2004 (which are the people that brought excitement to the whole gm) had already graduated.
reason number 2 being: the first few batches after those 2 did hang out there but not as much.
reason number 3 being: the batch after mine didn't really do much on saving our beloved. lastly which is
reason number 4: we used to hang out there ALL THE TIME during our sec 2 after playing volleyball at the cc or anywhere else. but as you know, not all good things lasts, and that is the truth. :( apparently, no one really cried, weeped or bawled over our loss. i could say it was shock that was our first reaction, not sadness. :( and by the way, not the 7 of us were there to send off our Mcdonald's. how sad, right? :(



nothing else to blog, really.
farewell everyone.
farewell, beloved mac mac. :(

hello citizens of the world! i am now at corrie's house, blogging! (obviously) anyway, it's just shirley, delphine, corrie and i here. i don't know what we're doing. phiney's painting ley's nails BLACK, and ley's practically slacking, enjoying ALL THE LUXURY she can get. HAHAHA. and she said "wo hao xiang da xiao jie". WAHAHA! and and, corrie's all HARDWORKING. FLIPPING her bio notes. haha, but not studying. =D

argh! i don't know how i feel anymore.

i find peace when i'm confused.
i find hope when i'm let down.
not in me.
in you.
it's in YOU.

nothing! =D

school's out. well, that's for everyone else except for us sec 4's.
i shall now call next week HELL WEEK! we have to wake up at the usual school time from next tuesday til' 6th of june! :(

i'm officially a bookworm from today onwards. believe it or not. hahaha! :)

ANGRY POST!!

so what if i cared so much? it's not as if it's your problem. just because you used your bloody ink to DOODLE on my paper doesn't give you the right to take it. i mean, man you still have the cheek to take my work! i already provided the paper, i still have to provide you the PEN FOR YOU TO INK MY BLOODY ART PIECE? well fuck you bitch. if all you wanna do is brag about that piece of shit with me, then why do it for us in the first place? is it really you being HELPFUL or is it just because you wouldn't wanna lose your FUCKING REPUTATION? i mean, god! everybody in the room knows about how much you LOVE YOUR FACE. and also, how big a fan you are to FAVORITISM!

yes, who could deny the fact that you're the only art teacher in the school and that you're FANTASTIC? fantastic in a sense that you could draw straight lines with your stable hand. bitch, you win me at that 'cos i'm obviously not even half as good as you are. but hello, bitch? can't you see how you're being such a mother-fucker infront of everyone in the room? especially everytime you threaten us with MRS. YEO? and of course not to forget mentioning how you LOVE to boast on HOW MUCH YOU'VE 'HELPED' US. and because of that you can just simply ask for my art back? well TAKE IT IF YOU WANT BITCH. EAT IT IF YOU WANT SINCE YOU ALREADY SHOWED US HOW MUCH YOU HUNGER FOR YOUR GOOD SKILL IN DRAWING.

with you threatening us with something so stupid is one thing, but what about YOU QUESTIONING MY SENSITIVITY OVER SOMETHING THAT YOU SAY IS NOT CONCERNING ME?! HUH?! just because my name is not in his' still gives me the right to get angry. well anyway, this shows your personality. it shows how selfish you are, that you would not help anyone even your friends in any fucking situation. all you care about is yourself. and you can never EVER prove me wrong because the words "WHY ARE YOU SO SENSITIVE? THIS IS NOT EVEN YOUR WORK!" came out of your stupid mouth.

so what if you drew lines all over our paper? so what if you chose the colors? the fact is, it's not you who colored it. it's not you who did all that work! it's actually me! i finished that! indeed you are our teacher. but are you actually telling me that because the maths teacher taught us 1+1=2, the A1's that we get for maths are actually HER'S? no man, NO. use your pea-brain, fucker. put this in your mind: you have talent in art, but that doesn't make you the best!

oh i know what your next step is. it's either call my mum, or COMPLAIN to your mother about my rude behavior and then ask her to call me down from lesson tomorrow. hahaha, so PREDICTABLE.

oh, one last thing. next time just shut the fuck up okay. 'cos everyone couldn't concentrate with you nagging and nagging and repeating everything everytime we have art lesson, as if you have a sort of speech made especially for your art students. let me tell you something. you may not have gray hair, flabby arms or saggy boobs, but you're actually WORSE than my grandmother! and you know what makes it worse? even with my earphones on with the max volume, i could still hear your speech. so just stop complaining about how slow we are with our work because you're the cause of it!

MAPLE ROCKS!

oh my big brother is fantastic! he made this drink which tastes so nice! and you know how he made it? he mixed lime juice, grape juice and mango ice cream together! hahaha! sounds so yucky but tastes so heavenly! :)

i love maple! it's so cute! everyone knows that. :) :) :)

byebye exams!

exams are officially O-V-E-R! YAY!
probably you guys would know how fun it is if you spent the night here at my house doing all sorts of crap. we started by doing the thing we love most, GOSSIPING! well, we practically became gossip-mongers for the night (not that it's only for tonight, haha!) we were stuck at the computer for a LONG TIME, looking through people's friendster and blog. :) followed by pigging around with the usual take-out, MCDONALD'S! well, there was a screw up the first time they delivered, and the second time too. but we didn't bother that much the second time round 'cos we were too busy watching the drama show on channel 8. after which we had a dip in the pool. except for crystal of course 'cos she was wearing jeans. ley and i were the first ones to jump in, followed by phiney though she told us that she's not gonna jump in. =D
---

no-school days like this should be spent at some place where we could sit around, talk and have fun. sad to say, everyone's busy everywhere. it's not even 4years yet, and i could not understand why it is so hard to hold on!
though we did have fun tonight, 4 isn't enough. 7 is fab, 7 is fun.

look into my heart and you will find,
there’s nothing there to hide..

i wish i can look into your eyes and tell after a split second your every emotion.
i wish i can hold your hand and tell if something made you upset.
i wish i can listen to your heartbeat like i'm listening to you talk about your day.
i wish i can tell by the way you speak, what you're gonna say the next moment.
i wish i can read your face and understand what you really need at that moment.
i wish i can do and say the right thing at the right time, just to see you smile.
i wish i know every song in the world, and then know the lyrics immediately after listening so that i can sing any song you wish to hear.
i wish i can tell what you really want.
i wish i'm your dream girl.
i wish i can give you everything.
i wish i'm not me.

daggers piercing through..

it hurts so much, that i just want to curl up and then crumble.

ever gone through times when you already know that person isn't coming back, but you still put your hopes up so high and you just end up hurting yourself? ever gone through the times when you wait and wait, trying to see if that person's gonna walk pass and then he calls you saying that he has already reached home?

ever said something you mean with all your heart, and that person wouldn't believe or even listen to anything you say? ever felt so much pain in your life that you couldn't do anything else besides crying after saying out to your friends all the things you think may happen?

ever wished that certain someone could understand your every bit of emotion? ever wished that certain someone would hold your hand when you cry, wipe your tears away and then look you in the eyes and tell you how much he loves you, and then hugs you really tightly so as to feel how much you're being cared about? ever wanted a man to tell you that you're the most beautiful woman in the world, and that your smile is the most wonderful thing he has ever seen in his whole life?

ever been hurt by that someone to the extent that you couldn't talk and you can never think straight just because that person is piercing through your heart with, not needles but daggers?

so much pain. but even so, it's a battle we have to fight.

i wish you would say, "what happened again, silly child? there's nothing wrong with being weak. just show it. it must have been tiring trying so hard to stay strong all this while. it's okay to fall at times, but don't give up alright?" , instead of saying those harsh words..

; give me a moment please,
to tame your wild wild heart.

fun but lacking..

school as per normal. revisions the whole day for the exams. well not exactly, only bio and an additional class for accounts. that was especially for those who didn't bring their ten year series. =D

planned to go to tcc after school to study and so we went there after our detention. ate and all, but no one was in the mood to touch their books so we just chatted. well actually more like gossiped about people. and phiney is like so crazy about sugar okay! shirley too! they ate like u hundred packets of sugar! okay, i only ate one. xD crystal said we're crazy.

played a game, 'cos i kinda mixed sugar, salt and pepper into my water and then i don't know who got this idea of playing a game and whoever loses have to drink a sip of that awful drink. i was lucky number one, and eventually everyone had the chance to drink. we got kinda bored with that so we just ordered cakes! they're yummylicious! oreo cheesecake first and then american cheesecake. :)


and I can see your face, your kiss i still can taste, not a memory erased.
oh, I see your star shining down on me.
and i'd do anything if i could just be right there.

then i will be free, so take me where you are.
now baby there were times when selfishly, i'm wishing that you are here with me.
so i can wipe the tears away from your eyes and make you see that every night while you are dreamin, i'm here to guard you from afar.
and anytime i feel alone, i close my eyes and dream of where you are.
where you and i can breathe together.

once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight, just like we used to do.
and you'll be smilin back at me, only then will I be free.
baby i still believe, i will touch you that sweet day that you take me there-
where you are.

i'll always be waiting here..
found out about this song through phiney while in the taxi.
this is so us..

full-

THE ADRENALINE
pangs of regret
twinges of conscience
reminiscence of the past
memory playbacks

i hate this. this feeling of having so much pain and sadness, nothing but those two revolving around my head and inside my heart. i know this blog is so one-sided, but all i could ever think about is how life is so unfair and sometimes, disgustingly irritating in very unreasonable ways.

how could it be that those words could actually lead to so many fights over stupid things that we ourselves make it so enormously big. it's just that sometimes, i too feel like disappearing for a while.

this feeling i feel, it's like i'm gonna lose my mind! it's not really like what you think, honey. you think after taking a nap or just by going letting the day pass by everything will turn out fine? no, it isn't that simple. some things are just too difficult to even try to forget about every detail of that particular matter. i just realised that after that day, everything turned bitter. i tried every way i could just to erase all the shit i feel inside. i couldn't. also nowadays, nothing can make me smile anymore whenever i feel so damned. nothing. it's like it's so hard to be happy.

yes i appreciate every little thing, and feel blessed too. of course i am. so may i ask, how can i stand still with you and not be moved by you? your love is so much better than the gummy bears that you give me. so much sweet love we had before. i know all we have to do is to go in an open room that echos well. that's where i can tell you everything. &that's where our wonderful memories are bound to be.

life isn't a bed of roses/ how many times have i heard you tell me this? of how little significance it has meant to me, till recently.

we can't keep on crying hurting every night.
i can't keep shielding myself with this novel or that.
i wish there was someone i could talk to.
my every heart beat still belongs to you. always will.
we'll work through this together.

i'm sorry.

so what shall i talk about today? ahh yes. watched 3 movies in the previous week. take the lead was superb, followed by cute animal cartoon the wild and lastly aquamarine, a sort of bimbotic show, though quite funny albeit brainless. hmm, maybe that was to help me keep "calm" since this week are our exams. =O

english paper yesterday, and then off to queenstown with lila and crystal for art. headed to ikea for our yummy hotdogs after that but had to leave early 'cos of my stupid chinese tuition. :(

today i was with the other half of the gang, ley &phiney. hung out at mac, and then decided to go to holland v for tcc. but we ate at spizza instead and hey, the service there is good. walked back to gm (lobster's idea. she said it's like exercising 'cos she thinks she's getting AHEM!) sat at mac again and then went home.

oh, and it's been two days, and i miss you.

though i try to resist being last on your list.
but no other man's gonna do, so i'm saving all my love for you.

i'm not pissed anymore but please please just understand me . :(

just show me that you love me..

okay, a short post before i tuck in.

• tom yam after school with ley &phiney, like finally!
• tiong with ley to meet the guys.
• neoprints, while the guys are practically gobbling up all the food they can eat at sakae.
• did the lesbo kiss again in one of the neos.
• i look stupid in almost all the prints, and of course ley looks cute! ;)
• we spent a long long time inside tiong doing almost nothing!
• blahblahblah, fixed the gundam that me &hL bought a few days ago. (i know, childish right?)
• the cab uncle praised me like mad!
• he said i can go very far with my "good looks"! :) like a stewardess, or maybe even an actress!
• hmm, dream on girl! it's just too good to be true. HAHA!

since that day, the emptiness won't go away.
&that's the reason why it's fucking hard for me to say out my feelings.
not even bawl my eyes out..

circle the love, cross the hate!

today, i declare that these three bitches, chermaine delphine and shirley, are the three superwomen in the whole wide world!
they carried me and their back didn't break! imagine a LOBSTER carrying a DONKEY thrice her size?? IMAGINE THAT! now isn't sally the lobster the best?? =D
how about chermaine? she tried to carry me but i almost strangled her to death.
well at least she's better than this stupid POTATO QUEEN right? this stupid potato face only knows how to eat potato all day long and wouldn't even wanna carry me. she hesitated and only carried me for 3 meters! its not as if a DONKEY could crush a POTATO FACE right?
MWAHAHA! i'm evil.

besides that, i became a lesbian for a day.
check this out!


oh don't worry! this is only for a day! and besides, i look like a witch here, well that's what they said. :) and and, hL wouldn't kill me. and lobster my dear, your chicken wouldn't bother either 'cos i'm not a guy!! if i'm a guy, of course it'll bother him! :)

okay, another one after art remedial.


hmm. well there are still other photos that we took. but it's with yanyi so maybe i'll update next time. :)


just stop, 'cause i really love you.
stop, i'll be thinking of you.
look in my heart and let love keep us together.. :)

i'd die just to see you smile.

easy is to hurt someone who loves you,
difficult is to heal the wounds..

i wish i knew the right words to say.
they say, "time heals all wounds". but in my opinion, time only serves to make things worse.

i hope you know how much i love you. i love you, with all my heart. i really do.
i'm hurting so much inside. the pain, so unbelievably unbearable.
i just want you to hold me in your arms, and never let me go..

'cos what the world needs now, is love, sweet love.
that's the only thing that is just too little..

what happens then?

what happens when you've been hurt in a way so unimaginable that your heart feels like it's been stuffed in a tiny box & it becomes so unbearably difficult to breathe?
what happens when the tears can't stop falling?

do you want me, like I want you?
or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
/ with the scenery flying by?
/ out of the corner of my eye?
was that you passing me by?

what happens when there is only one person who can make you stop crying?
what happens when that one person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?

what happens then? tell me please..
feel so broken down

so yesterday we went for the science thingy at the science center. damn boring by the way. the only fun part was when we drew something like an animal kingdom or whatever, where every of our close ones are inside. something like me being the donkey, lila as the airpork, sotong as.. well, sotong. HAHA! yep, that's some of it. did a draft and we're gonna draw again when we're free. :) bowled at west bowl and it was fun. :) lila claimed that she doesn't know how to play but she almost had a strike okay! after that was pizza hut and everyone ate like hungry ghosts. =D yep, played and played. the plan was to go to bugis with lila but we were too lazy so we went to big bookshop instead. roamed around the place for quite awhile, and then we went off..

&&, my m&m experiment FAILED! how sad.. :(

today was just dinner with family. went shopping with mum and dad at orchard. okay, we ended up food shopping! well, nothing surprising. everyone in the family LOVES TO EAT! :)
dang! have to go to atsi claire's birthday party later at 6. ahh! i'm too tired to go. but i'll go anyway. :)

so, do you miss me like i miss you?

back with the past.

it's silly having told you guys that i'm going and gone. and then after just a day, i'm here again.
though i may be back, it's not my whole. there's still a part of me that's empty &lost.
yes, the face you see is a mask.

i don't know why, i love you so much.
i can't feel because i'm just too lost.
not too much mad as no more.
so is it you, is it me, is it us,
or is it trust??

there's no one left in the world that i can hold onto.
there is really no one left at all.
there is only you.
and if you leave me now, you leave all that we were.
UNDONE.
there is really no one left.
you are the only one.
and still the hardest part for you is to put your trust in me.
i love you more than i can say.
why won't you just believe me?

off-

they fell, and never grew back.
goodbye blogger.
i may come back,
or may be gone forever..

it's all because of you, i'm feeling sad and blue.
you went away, now my life is just a rainy day.
and i love you so, how much you'll never know.
you've gone away and left me lonely..

untouchable memories, seem to keep haunting me.
another love so true, that once turned all my gray skies blue.
but you disappeared, now my eyes are filled with tears,
and i'm wishing you were here with me.

soaked with love, all my thoughts of you,
now that you're gone, i just don't know what to do.

if only you were here, you'd wash away my tears.
the sun would shine, once again you'd be mine all mine.
but in reality, you and i will never be,
'cause you took your love away from me.

boy, i don't know what i did to make you leave me.
but what I do know is that since you've been gone,
there's such an emptiness inside.
i'm wishing you'd come back to me.

if only you were here, you'd wash away my tears.
the sun would shine, once again you'd be mine all mine.
but in reality, you and i will never be,
'cause you took your love away from me.

oh baby, you took your love away from me.

sayonara.
i know when i die, you'll be on my mind.
and i'll love you, always..

easter NO surprise.

happy easter everyone.

i suppose i wouldn't be getting that easter egg today anymore. :(
and it's not gonna be a happy easter for me either.

waiting..
waiting..
and waiting..

goody-good friday! :)

good friday! an anniversary of Jesus' death on the cross. years, decades, centuries, and even millions of years ago, God was crucified! that's my knowledge about good friday, and that easter day comes along too! :) yay! and i get to have a chocolate egg this easter! :)

tuition was the first thing this morning. and can you imagine me, sitting still on the chair and STUDYING MY SCIENCE FOR 3 HOURS?? AHH! i'm not lying! =D
after that ate at my cousin's place for lunch, followed by a call from my honeybuns. yep, we met up for awhile to catch a movie. was supposed to go to the library with lila but was cancelled in the end.
anyway, the movie, ultraviolet, wasn't that bad. just a lil complicated. before that, we saw PHINEY &HER RAYNER at the escalator when we were going down, and they were going up! :) okay, pastamania again for lunch, and i didn't eat anything except for the tiramisu and 2 sushis. i'm serious about my dieting okay! :) headed home after that.

i love him many many!
that guy who loves me for who i am. though he sometimes does constantly pick on my flaws. HAHA. :) <3

&crystal flew off to thailand today! BYEBYE! bring more bra's back for me &ley! WAHAHA!
&&, she LOVES her blog! HAHA!
we'll miss you!!

toodles! :)